growing pains

Taking accountability for actions, or rather the lack of actions in my life has always been my biggest problem. Accepting that something has not been completed because I did not complete it has always been my downfall.  We can say that as a child my parents did not really make me accountable for my actions,  but we would have to understand their reasons for raisin me with a big sense of entitlement, and in the end, they cannot be judge, but just understood. 

It was not until in my adult life, that I got married and had children when in an argument with my husband I reflected on my actions. I had lived a whole life blaming the world and each one of its inhabitants for my problems, my disappointments, my sadness, even my inappropriate actions, everything was everyone’s fault, except mine. 

The moment this clicked in my head, I started to change that negative attitude for one that would lead me to be accountable for my actions, especially my lack of actions. Froma accepting the reasons I did not lose weight to the reasons why I kept on failing on keeping track of the family budget, I had always had an excuse …pointing fingers at my work (including bosses and coworkers), my children, my husband, my parents, the lack of time,  the lack of money, the house chores… oh my! the list is endless.

I believe that accepting our lack of accountability is an achievement, committing with oneself to learn to accept our failures, our mistakes to correct them and through kindness and gratitude, take responsibility for our actions, our mistakes, and even more important our victories.

I still have a lot to learn, I still fall into the trap of pointing my index finger at the culprit of these extra pounds, or putting my hands up asking the heavens above for more time to finish this or that, when I know very well that there are pieces of my time wasted on things that do not help in the mission of my goals … but I keep trying. I keep meditating, I keep searching inside myself for my doubts, my fears, my uncertainties, and I try to scare them away with kindness, faith, organization, and love for my family and myself.

2 Comments on “growing pains

  1. Congratulations. This is an enormous step in self-improvement. Like you said, it is up to us, which is a good thing, because once we are accountable, we can take control of where things go and make them work for us instead of against us.

    Liked by 1 person

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